Reflection

I feel one of my main strengths of being a counsellor are that I am a good listener as I am often the one that friends come to so that they can talk about their troubles or ask for advice.  I’d say that one of my weaknesses is im not always able to reflect effectively and am sometimes a bit too quick to offer my opinions and advice rather than helping facilitate my friends to explore new outlooks and think of what they can do to help themselves.  I feel that the exercises carried out in the tutorials relating to person centred therapy have helped improve my reflective skills and i will try to put them into practice with my friends in future in an attempt to see their effectiveness first hand.

I found there were clear links between person centered therapy and the work we had been doing in the tutorials.  Reflection is a key concept in person centred therapy as it enables the client to find their own solutions to their problems while the provides non directive guidance.  All the exercises we did in the tutorial asked the listener to implement reflective techniques to the scenario that the speaker was talking about.  This in turn continued the flow of the conversation and from subsequent discussion in class found that it enabled the speaker to explore new ideas and feelings that they hadn’t previously encountered from their experience and let them see things from a different perspective.

From looking at both humanist and existentialist views and theories, I would have to say that I would lean more towards the humanistic approach.  I agree with the concept that we have a ‘real self’ and an ‘ideal self’ and it is incongruence between the two as we constantly strive for actualisation that leads to anxiety, and the fact we build up physiological defences to help try avoid this anxiety.  I can relate to this because at times I can feel myself carrying out the exact same process.  My grandmother is a counsellor and i remember even coming up to her when i was young with my problems she would help me come up with my own ideas to tackle these problems and I feel I have become more of a dependent person because of it.

I feel that a couple of years into the future, with further training I could be a decent counseller.  I have learned a lot from this module and from the counselling exercises that took place in the tutorials and aim to use the skills I have picked up as much as possible in life.  Various members of my family are counsellors so i have grown up having experienced elements of their work and throughout my life I have been determined to help people with their problems.  From a young age I wanted to be a child psychologist like my grandfather and have previously worked in nurseries and obtained an A in HNC for childcare and education.  Even though im not 100% that is still want i want to do, it helped further strengthen my foundations for seeking a profession that aims to helps people with their troubles.  And who knows, maybe that profession could be counselling…

Existentialism

Traditional existential psychotherapy was first establish in europe and then later emerged as a theoritical approach among certain psychologists within America.  Existentialist psychotherapy is a philosophical movement based on the philosophy of existentialism which is closely associated with the work of Sarte and Heidegger amongst others.  These philosophers were interested in the meaning of human existence, and with the concepts of free will, subjectivity and the nature of individual experience.  It also looks at our capacity for self awareness, how we can reflect and make choices and the more aware that we are, the greater the possibilities we have.

Therefore it could be seen that humanism and existentialism are closely allied but there are some differences. For example humanists argue that all of us have within us a nature and potential to actualise, in which we will find meaning whereas existentialists argue that anxiety is a condition of living as humans cannot escape the necessity of dealing with, and making sense of, existence and as a result our identity is never secure.  This fear and anxiety results from an individual’s awareness that, unconciously, such potential exists and is being neglected.  Anxiety is a vital concept in existentialism which refers to feelings of dread which are associated with extreme threat,  one of the greatest threats perhaps being the realisation that we are indeed free which, if true, makes us completely responsible for how we act.

 

 

 

Sartre argues that existance proceeds the sum of ways that we behave and that we are born as blank slates and thus must use subjectivity as our point of departure.  He believes strongly that it is only in the reality of man putting things into action that in turn defines who he is.

 

 

 

Heidegger conflicts with Satre as he argues that we are not born with a human nature, it unfolds over time.  He also argued that that the question of human existence is central to the pursuit of the question of being.

 

The existentialist approach to therapy looks to help clients become more personally authentic which refers to the individual’s ability to define who they are and what they feel.  Alienation occurs when we detach ourselves from our own personal experiences and instead relies on others including family, culture and religon to define this for them.  This can lead to feelings of isolation and meaninglessness which are among the concerns that existential therapy aims to help deal with along with issues such as bereavement, redundancy or divorce which are can all act as catalysts for change or search of meaning.

Week 6: Tutorial 5

The tutorial’s theme this week was mixed emotions.  The group was asked to recall times when we ourselves had experienced mixed emotions.  Such examples included when your friend finds a boyfriend/girlfriend and even though you feel happy for them, there could also be a slight bit of envy in the mix as well.  Similar to that example is when your friend has just been dumped and even though you feel sorry for them, a small part of you may be relieved that they are rid of that person.  Even though we experience mixed emotions on a daily basis, i found it difficult to think up an example myself until i was under the spotlight and i recalled my experiences watching various horror films where at certain  moments even though you felt scared or freaked out at the same time you know it isn’t real and thus find it funny at the same time.

Using this topic of coming up with a time we experienced ‘mixed emotions, we split up into pairs to carry out person centred counselling for the final time.  My partner went first and spoke about the time he felt upset for his friend when she split up with her boyfriend but at the same time was also a bit relieved because he felt she sacrificed too much in being with him.  I felt I did an ok job reflecting as the listener, i made sure my body position was relaxed and open to show that i was listening whilst maintaining eye contact.  I used reflection to help keep his story going and show i was engaged although admittedly not all my responses were as reflective as they could of been and at a few points turned the exercise into a conversation.  For my turn being the talker i told a similar story of feeling empathy for my friend who had just been dumped but also a bit of relief as there was quite a bit of control and manipulation that went on.  My partner also did a good job of reflection but at times i feel he fell into the same pitfalls as me of turning it into too much of a conversation.

Week 5: Tutorial 4

In this tutorial we were looking at Carl Roger’s client centred approach and to begin we had a group discussion on what we thought of the theory. Like all theories and, broadly speaking even most things in life, it has both strengths and limitations.  Coming from a background where my grandmother, grandfather and mother all implement the person centred approach in their work I know how effective it can be in the right hands.  It was interesting hearing the opinions from others in the group as i agreed with the seemingly general consensus that not everyone is happy with just talking themselves while receiving little interaction from the counsellor and would indeed require more in terms of guidance.  Also mentioned was the possibility of lack of effectiveness on people with certain kinds of conditions like schizophrenia.  I see person centred therapy as having the same meaning as the old chinese proverb ‘ Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime’.  If you help them to help themselves then they will be able to become more independant to deal with their own problems in the future.

We then went on to talk about ‘reflection’ as playing an important role in the therapy.  Reflection has 4 main benefits:

1. Guidance (can guide the client to elaborate on what they’ve just said)

2. Enables you to ‘correct’ the counseller if they misunderstand you to prompt you to say what you really mean

3. Provides Cadence (back and forth, balanced, rhytmic flow of verbal interactions)

4. Cognitive (Helps us realise what we are feeling and enables us to see it in a new way)

After doing the usual weekly relaxation exercise we split of into pairs to try out the concept of reflection in person centred counselling for ourselves.  As usual we were split into the roles of talker and listener where the listener was the one aimed to try and become a ‘mirror’ to reflect back on certain things the talker had just said.  We were given a choice of topics to talk about for 5 minutes before we would switch roles.  I went first as talker and spoke about a childhood friend i had lost contact with, i made the story last quite a while but after i became stuck my partner at times was able to implement the reflection technique which enabled me to carry on the conversation.  We then switched roles and i became the listener.  My partner was able to talk pretty much unassisted for the whole time on the topic of a recurring nightmare so I found it quite difficult to find space to reflect but I did my best to do so and keep their flow going.  Also because I’d never spoke to my partner before this exercise, I found it quite fun and interesting to be listening to them and as a result there were moments where we forgot about the exercise and it was more like we were having a casual conversation.

Afterwards we discussed the exercise and how we found the reflection aspect of the task.  Many people found that it showed that the listener was doing a good job listening and by prompting the speaker to continue their conversation also showed they were interested in what they were talking about.

Carl Rogers: Person-centred approach

Clinical psychologist Carl Rogers (1920-1987) was the founder of the person-centered approach to counselling and therapy.  The person-centered approach offered a new outlook on understanding personality and human relations.  Like Freud his theory is clinical based and based on years of experience treating his own clients.  The emergence of this approach was part of an american movement in 1950 to create an alternate theory to the already existing theories that were currently dominating the the field, psychoanalysis and behaviourism.  This movement became known as Humanistic Psychology.  Not only is it one of the most widely used outlooks to counselling and therapy, it has also supplied ideas and concepts that have been implemented into other approaches.

Rogers believes that all living beings strive for self actualisation (the actualizing tendancy) which in essence is the innate motivation in every life form to develop its potential to the fullest extent.  From physiological needs like food and water right up to attachment based needs like friendship and intimacy, we as one of many organisms seek to attain these goals and push ourselves to become ‘our ideal self’.  Rogers came up with the concept of  ‘self theory’ in which he proposed we first have our ‘real self’ which is influenced primarily by actualization.  Leading on from actualisation, our ‘real self’ is made up of organismic valuing (our evolutionary learnings of what we need/what is good for us , leading to positive regard (the things we instinctively value such as love, affection etc) which in turn positive self regard follows (our self-esteem, self-worth; this is achieved by receiving positive regard shown from others. These are the components that make up our ‘real self’. 

Running parallel to our ‘real self’ is the make-up of our ‘ideal self’ which consists of similar stages which interact with the corresponding stage of our ‘real self’ to help us understand who we are.  Our ‘ideal self’ is primarily influenced by society.  Society goes on to teach us about ‘conditions of worth’, we only get what we need if we show we are worthy of it rather than just for the reason that we need it (e.g. receiving praise and encouragement for finishing homework).  This interacts and conflicts with our ‘real self”s notion of organismic valuing.  Following on from our ‘conditions of worth’ is ‘conditional positive regard’ where we will work to extreme lengths to receive positive regard from the conditions that society sets us rather than it being determined by self actualizing or organismic valuing. This also interacts/conflicts with our ‘real self’s’ concept of positive regard.  Lastly leading on from conditional positive regard is conditional positive self-regard.  We only start liking ourselves and gaining self esteem and self worth if our self image fits in with the norms directed and influenced by society rather than trying to realise our own potential.  Because we are all individuals, this is often a hard goal to ascertain.

When there becomes a gap between our ‘real self’ and our ‘ideal self’ this is known as incongruence. This is seen as a threatening situation which causes you to feel anxiety.  In an attempt to avoid the incongruent situation, we build up psychological defences such as denial (to block out/repress the situation altogether) or perceptual distortion (reinterpreting/rationalizing the situation so it appears less threatening).  However each time a defence is put up, this makes the gap between the ‘real self’ and the ‘ideal self’ even larger which can lead to even more threatening situations, more anxiety and thus more defences being put up.  Rogers states that psychosis occurs when the individual’s defences are overwhelmed and their ‘sense of self’ becomes shattered into many, little disconnected pieces.  This can lead to bizzare behaviour where the individual loses the ability to differentiate between the real self and ideal self and as a result can be disoriented and passive.

Rogers uses the term ‘fully functioning’ to describe a healthy person and lists the following qualities:

1. Openness to Experience (Being able to accept reality and include one’s feelings)

2. Existential Living (living in the here and now, getting in touch with reality)

3. Orangismic Trusting (We should trust in our organismic valuing instinct and do what comes natural)

4. Experential Freedom (acknowledge the power of freedom and take responsibility for our choices)

5. Creativity (in touch with actualization and able to contribute to the actualization of others)

The person-centred approach focuses on behaviour that occurs in the present, the ‘here and now’ rather than the origins of client childhood experiences (psychoanalysis) or aiming to achieve new patterns of behaviour in the future (behaviourism).  Originally in this approach, Rogers suggests that the therapist could be most of help in allowing the clients to find their own solutions to their problems.  In this sense it is the client that is the expert of their own facilitation whereas the counsellor acts as someone who helps the client reflect on their  problems whilst offering encouragement which makes the approach ‘non directive’.

Although as he became more experienced, even though he saw himself as non directive, his techniques still acted as a ‘non directive’ influence on the client.  Thus he changed the name from ‘non directive’ to ‘client-centred’.  He still felt it vital that the client should be the one express their problems and find ways to improve whilst the therapist provides minimal support and guidance rather than trying to be reconstructive or having the client fully depend on them.

One of the key aspects of the person-centred approach is reflection.  The therapist will aim to mirror the emotional communication carried out by the client to show that they are listening and understanding but at the same time prompting the client to continue to speak about their problems. Although reflection must be used sparingly and in a genuine manner so as to not look like the therapist is merely repeating/mirroring everything the client says.  Rogers in fact came up with 3 necessary requirements/qualities that therapists must possess to be truly effective in their sessions.

1. Congruancy (genuineness, honesty, authenticity)

2. Empathy (able to feel what the client feels)

3. Acceptance (cherishing/valuing, unconditional positive regard towards client)

If the therapist possesses these 3 qualities then the client will improve even if no other special ‘techniques’ are used, however if the therapist does not possess these 3 qualities then there will be minimal improvement no matter how many ‘techniques’ are used.

Sigmund Freud: Psychoanalysis

Sigmund Freud (1856-1923) was a jewish austrian neurologist that founded the concept of psychoanalysis.  Psychoanalysis is a set of techniques for exploring underlying motives and a method of treating various mental disorders.  It has had a huge impact on the understanding of human psychological functioning and behaviour within society and has sparked much interest and debate amongst many, many theorists.

It is important to remember that psychoanalysis is a therapy, not just a theory.  Freud would get his patients to lie down and relax on his couch while he would take notes as they told him about their childhood, experiences growing up and their dreams.  The concepts brought forward by Freud’s psychoanalysis, as well as his work on his own patients, have continued to be researched, evaluated and built upon up to the present day.

Freud proposed that there are two opposing drives that motivate all our thoughts and behavious: sex and aggression.  He referred to these as Eros and Thanatos.  Eros represents the instinct we have for life, with sex being the major driving force in human nature leading to reproduction.  The second drive is the death instinct, thanatos , which is an instinct in humans to return to a state of calm and even non-existance.  This manifests itself as a drive to self destruction or death.  These drives reside in the id (the instinctive part of our personality that seeks immediate pleasure and contains basic urges) and the ego (the rationale part of the mind).  All the while the superego acts as a balance for the id and ego.

Freud believed that when people have thoughts or experiences that they find too difficult to cope with, these issues are pushed into the sub concious (which is the part of the mind that you are unconciously aware of) such as repressed trauma or unresolved issues during development.  Psychoanalytic psychologists see psychological problems as rooted in the unconcious mind.  ‘The talking cure’ is said to be the basis of psychoanalysis which aims to make the unconcious concious so that the client can help deal with these emerging problems. This can be done via numerous techniques including free association where the patient speaks about whatever comes into their head as well as dream analysis.

Week 3: Tutorial 2

The tutorial began with the usual relaxation technique implemented from the first tutorial before moving onto the first task.

The first task of the tutorial was to pair up with another person where someone acted out the role of  the talker whilst the other acted out the role of the listener.  The talker was given a range of subjects to choose from or he/she could come up with one of their own and had to speak about their chosen topic for 3-5 minutes.  For the first minute the listener was to firstly act fully foucused and attentive to what the talker was saying but for the second minute they had to act completely uninterested in what the talker was saying.  For the remaining time the listener was to act attentive once again.

As i was talking, although it was reassuring to see my partner was listening to me I also found it slightly offputting to have so much transfixed attention in terms of eye contact, closeness and body posture to what i was saying.  It felt a bit like being under the spotlight but this was also probably to do with the fact i was speaking to someone i had never spoke to before in an environment where i was kind of forced to talk.  Although this was nowhere near as offputting as the next part when my partner had to act uninterested and did a good job of doing so by fidgeting, not maintaining eye contact and generally giving off a bored impression. I often found myself losing my place in what i was talking about.  I didnt think i would feel so relieved once my partner was asked once again to act attentive for the third part of the task.

After switching roles i found myself acting the role of listener while my partner now became the speaker.  Im used to being an attentive listener so the first part was easy, i tried my best to maintain eye contact and have a comfortable but attentive promoting body posture so my partner would feel more relaxed when speaking.  When asked to act uninterested I broke eye contact and started to look around the room, i changed my body posture so it was quite laid back and gave off a bit of an uncaring kind of vibe.  I felt pretty bad about doing this even though it was just part of a task as I could see my partner also struggling slightly to continue their story.

After some class reflection and discussion about the first task, the second task commenced.  We were paired off with a different partner again with one acting the role of speaker and the other that of the listener but this time the speaker had to use their body language to project an underlying emotion that the listener had to guess.  The speaker had to use a positive experience they had as the topic.  I found this a difficult topic to think of something to speak about for 3-5 minutes so I felt pretty awkward speaking.  I tried to give off an awkward emotion by constantly shifting my body posture and dropping eye contact from time to time which my partner succesfully caught on to.  The topic was evidently a difficult one for my partner as well but she made it work with her own emotion she was expressing of anxiety which i guessed correctly because of the nervous characteristics of the body language she was projecting for example being restless, having her eyes shift quite a lot and a shaky tone to her voice.  This task too was then followed up by a class discussion and reflection

Week 2: Tutorial 1

When acting the role as listener, both eye contact and body posture are important to give the impression that you are fully engaged in what the speaker is saying.  Eye contact should always be maintained with the listener as it shows you are focused rather than staring around the room which gives off the impression that you are not listening.  It also helps develop a connection between the listener and the speaker which is a vital part in the early stages of counselling.  The listener’s body posture should give off the impression of being relaxed as this allows the speaker to become more relaxed and feel more comfortable when talking. An example of good use of body posture could be leaning forward when you are doing the talking to promote confidence and emphasis on what you are talking about but leaning backwards when you are doing the listening so as to give the speaker space to speak so that they don’t feel too crowded.  A good listener can tell when they are sitting too close judging by the other person’s body posture as demonstrated in the tutorial when my posture become slightly more rigid and I started making uneasy movements with my hands when the listener moved closer and closer to me.  This shows personal space is important between talker and listener and can have a visible effect as I was clearly uncomfortable with the lack of space between me and the tutor which he observed and as a result moved further back.

Being completely relaxed is also another important aspect of being a good listener.  It enables you to have better self control in terms of suspending your own needs and reactions when listening and refrain from passing judgement.  All too often (especially in counselling sessions) the listener is too concerned with controlling/instructing/reforming the other person to be truly open to their point of view.  A relaxation exercise was carried out where we started off at our feet and tried to relax every part of our bodies one at a time, moving upwards towards the head.  This helped us feel more relaxed and would hopefully enable us to become better listeners.